From: Mom and Dad
Failure gets a bad rap. When I was young I didn’t understand the whole balance of the universe. It sounds cliche, but it is true. You cannot have good without evil. You cannot have success without failure.
The thing about failure is that it isn’t binary or black and white. There are varying degrees of failure and we feel it every day. Small failures, we shrug off. Large failures hit us hard, like Shannon jumping on your stomach when you aren’t ready.
Your Failure
You’ve experienced a failure in terms of school. You know this, but you don’t understand it. Yet. The goal was to graduate from a specific nursing school and start your career. Enamored with the idea of going to that school, you embraced it and worked to make it happen. It didn’t.
It isn’t.
It won’t.
At that school.
See, that’s the nature of failure. You can make it as specific or as broad as you want. The way people look at failure effects their ability to rebound greatly.
How do you look like it?
Do you look at it like you’ve failed at college? Failed at nursing school? Failed at that school? Failed a specific class? Failed a specific test?
My Failure
I’ve had three great failures in my life.
- The death of David – Your mom and I argue about this when the topic comes up, but I consider David’s death a personal failing. I dealt with it and didn’t let it stop me from having more children. Think about that. Had I just given up after David you wouldn’t exist.
- The failure of my businesses – Two businesses started in earnest and two failed. Both were great ideas, timed well and in both cases I failed to make the right decisions to make them a success. I’ve learned and am trying it again.
- The failure in my current work – Oh, last January was just horrible. My grasp exceeded my reach and I failed to convince people that my ideas were the best. It was probably the most personally humiliating thing I’ve had to deal with it. There are those words again, dealing with it.
How to Look at Failure
Failure is a shock to your system. Most people don’t expect to fail, so when it happens they are ill prepared to deal with it. This is especially true when the failures on monumental such as when David died.
Don’t get me wrong, you’ll go through a period of mourning, morose and malaise. I see you going through this now and I don’t prod, push or pull you in any other direction. It’s a natural reaction.
Recovering from Failure
The recovery from this starts when you honestly examine the failure. In your case, you didn’t fail college. You failed a specific course with a specific instructor in a specific place.
You’re going to need some time, but don’t use that as excuse to quit or stop. Don’t coast and don’t give up.
Understand what you did, examine yourself, but most importantly try again. Should you be a nurse? Should you go back to school? I have no idea. What I do know is that existing, floating through life doesn’t lead to happiness.
Failure is life’s way of saying you’re still in the game. Don’t forget this.
